Hey. Haven't updated this blog in EONS. Needless to say, the amount of entries I'll need to amass due to the insanity of my batshit existence now greatly surpasses my ability to produce them at any reasonable rate.
Anyways, despite not breaking any legalities and changing the names of all peoples involved, someone had been serving me fat steaming plates of threatening shit as a reward for writing this blog. She happened to be a participant in some of the events that occurred, and was worried her name would be sullied. Or perhaps she didn't want hideous memories of my ugly unshaved mug to violate her Facebook news feed.
At the time, she was in the care of something very valuable to me. Since I am wise, and I did not want to piss her off and have her demolish/ignite/catapult/defecate upon or near/disassemble or pawn my property, my writing took a hiatus.
Now that said possessions have been returned to me, and la femme is hopefully a year wiser, I shall return to the keyboard (much to the displeasure of immediate family and people who take offense to drunken jungle-romping and vibrant sex lives described with flamboyant metaphors.) I hope that she'll realize that while our journey wasn't always picturesque (read: I am an asshole and developed anger problems mid-trip,) it was a beautiful moment of our lives and its stories should be shared with the world.
Oh, and hopefully she'll realize that I took to using pseudonyms specifically to misdirect identification. I didn't do it just for shits & giggles. (Well, actually, I did. But that made a pretty good argument, since it's totally true.) Ain't nobody gonna know who Squamp, or Ziggeth, or Shrimp, or any of these other colourful individuals are. Hell, even the tightest of my homedawgs couldn't place a finger on exactly who the main protagonists in some of the blogged stories were, despite having had these stories vomited relentlessly upon them, ad verbatim, after my return to the First World.
I've also decided to intersperse TimeSwap entries into the blog so I can update with the current throes of my life alongside the drunken throes of a much sunnier and less expensive time.
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